It happened slowly at first. One by one, your friends started “soft launching” their significant others on Instagram—an ambiguous hand in a restaurant booth here, a conspicuously caption-less photo there. Then came the full launches, the engagement posts, the wedding invitations, the babies, and before you knew it, you were the last one standing. Just you, your DoorDash habit and a deep well of patience for third-wheeling.
Being the last single friend isn’t bad per se, but, if we’re being honest, it can be weird. You’re happy for your friends, of course. Love is beautiful and their weddings are great opportunities to dress up and eat overpriced chicken. But when everyone else is in the Coupledom Club, it can feel like you missed a deadline no one told you about.
If that’s you, let’s talk about it. Because despite what your great aunt at Thanksgiving keeps implying, singleness isn’t a problem to be solved—it’s a gift. And before you roll your eyes at that, hear me out.
For starters, let’s get one thing straight: You are not the only single person left on earth. I promise. It just feels that way when your core friend group shifts from “Who’s free to hang?” to “Let’s check with my partner and see.” But outside your immediate circle, the world is full of people also navigating singleness, waiting, dating or just living their lives without making their relationship status a personality trait.
Still, it’s hard not to notice when the group dynamics change. Conversations tilt toward mortgage rates, joint Costco memberships and whether it’s time to start trying for kids—an absolute jump scare of a topic if you’re still out here enjoying the simplicity of buying a single frozen pizza for yourself. It can be isolating. And that’s okay to acknowledge. But being the last single friend standing doesn’t mean you’re behind—it just means your path looks different. And different doesn’t mean lesser.
So what do you do in the meantime? Well, for starters, don’t make the mistake of treating singleness like a waiting room. You are not an idle passenger standing by for your boarding group to be called. Your life is happening right now. It’s easy to slip into the mindset of singleness as something to endure rather than something to actually live. But when you constantly frame it as a season to get through, you risk missing out on what’s actually in front of you.
This is the time to invest in yourself, your community and your purpose. You get to decide what your days look like. You can take a job across the country without consulting someone else’s career trajectory. You can travel on a whim, pick up new hobbies, build deep friendships and pour into things that matter to you. You get to make choices for yourself in a way that becomes much more complicated when another person’s needs and dreams are in the mix.
That’s not to say relationships are limiting—good ones aren’t—but this kind of freedom is rare, and it’s something to be embraced, not just tolerated.
That being said, singleness can be lonely sometimes. But here’s the secret most people won’t tell you—so can marriage. So can dating. Loneliness isn’t about a relationship status; it’s about connection. If you’re feeling like the odd one out, this is your cue to expand your circle. Not every friendship has to be tied to your season of life. Find people who challenge and inspire you, whether they’re single, married, older, younger or just really good at making you laugh.
Churches, unfortunately, have a way of making singles feel like a problem to be solved. But the best churches cultivate community, not just marriage pipelines. If your current church treats singleness as a pit stop instead of a calling, it might be time to find one that values you as you are, not as a project in progress.
Of course, none of this changes the fact that when you’re surrounded by happy couples, it’s easy to start wondering, Why not me? Maybe you tell yourself you’re too picky, too intimidating, too independent. Maybe you think you need to fix something before someone will choose you.
Let’s shut that down right now. You are not single because you are too much or not enough. You are single because that is what this moment in your life is supposed to be. And no, that’s not some theological dodge to avoid acknowledging the very real desire for love and companionship. It’s just the truth.
You don’t need to be “more” or “less” of anything to be worthy of love. And you certainly don’t need to settle just because you’re tired of being the last one standing. If you want a relationship, great. If you don’t, also great. But you don’t have to contort yourself into someone else’s idea of “dateable” just to get there.
Maybe you’ll meet someone tomorrow. Maybe you won’t. But making peace with singleness isn’t about convincing yourself that a relationship is definitely around the corner. It’s about learning to love your life as it is right now. Because here’s the thing—if you can’t find contentment in singleness, you won’t magically find it in a relationship either. If your happiness hinges on a hypothetical future, you’ll always be waiting for the next thing.
So, if you’re the last single friend standing, embrace it. Love your life. Take yourself out to dinner. Build deep friendships. Pursue your passions. Make plans for your future that don’t require someone else’s participation.
And the next time someone asks, “So, are you seeing anyone?” just smile and say, “Yeah—myself. And we’re having a great time.”
